


Green Light

by EternalLamb



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Explicit Consent, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Character, Other, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Trans Character, Trans Masc Character, around season 3-5 spencer, early criminal minds spencer, nonbinary reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 04:21:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30066591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalLamb/pseuds/EternalLamb
Summary: Reader finally decides it's time to take their relationship with Spencer to the next step.Each chapter (if more are added) is a one-off
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Green Light

**Author's Note:**

> This is a NSFW off shoot of this fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/29510571  
> I'm essentially splitting off explicit/mature from the non-18+ content in the other fic.   
> Reader is trans-masc Nonbinary, post top surgery, no bottom surgery.   
> Speech key:  
> S: 'Text' -Spencer's speech  
> Y: 'Text' -Insert's speech  
> Formatted this way because the inserts referred name is Rose to avoid confusion and hopefully help immersion (Y for 'you') despite this absolutely being a self indulgent self insert.

You’ve caught Reid staring a few times, more than a few. He has little concern for who else might be in the room. His looks are usually innocent, lingering a little too long on your face or hands or obviously looking you up and down but sometimes they’re almost...hungry. Those looks light a fire in you, frustrate you a little. He has no idea what he does to you, how could he. You’ve avoided the conversation for a while now, too scared to bring it up yourself and too nervous to properly think it through. You linger on the way he subtly and gently touches you, your shoulder, arm, the small of your back each sparking your nerves to life. You’re sure your co-workers have noticed, you usually keep a safe distance from people. Stray or unexpected touches hold the threat of sending you into a panic. No one has said anything but you’ve seen some knowing glances when any member of the BAU comes down to your work space. The morgue has felt a little warmer since you’ve taken up more and more cases with them. 

You roll onto your back, shielding your eyes with your arm from the early morning light stretching through your window. Reid has been out on a case for a few days now, it’s hard to sleep when he’s gone. You get some updates from Garcia on their progress but you know she’s overworked and always busy so avoid taking up too much of her time. Last you heard they might be close to finishing the case, he might be back later today. Meanwhile in your time alone you’ve spent it focused on your work as much as you can but your thoughts drift back to Spencer as soon as you make your way to the metro after work. The nights you’ve spent on his pull out, holding hands on the metro, and the chaste few kisses you’ve shared before parting ways at your apartment door. You know he’ll never do anything more on his own. You’ll have to take the initiative, you decide. The thought of it gives you comfort as well as a little stress, the last relationship you had was before your transition and was a constant power struggle with you ending up on the bottom whether you liked it or not. You’ve shared this with Spencer, he was already gentle with you before but he became a little more cautious after that and has built his boldness back up over time. He’s clearly conscious of some hard lines he’s made for himself though. It’s been a long time since you’ve gone much further than kissing in a relationship and your body is significantly different now. You can’t help but overthink the situation and try to come up with strategies for different situations. As you’re running through permutations a rhythmic knock sounds at your door. Your heart jumps to your throat but you smile and sit up in bed. The knock was just for the two of you, it let you know specifically who was at the door and it would be very hard to replicate without moderate practice. Sometimes the two of you use it just to let the other know you’ve come home and are welcome and other times, like normal, to seek an invitation inside. 

You hadn’t gotten completely undressed, still in your undershirt and packing boxers, liking the connection your ‘stroker’ packer provided. You quickly dig out some sweatpants, a hoodie and run to the door. You pause for a moment before unlocking and opening your door, expecting Reid to have gone into his own already and try to figure out if you have the nerve to walk into his apartment after everything you’ve been considering. You take a full step out, watching the threshold but run into something immediately. 

Y: ‘Sorry I-’  
You start an apology before you can see what or who you’ve run into. A pair of hands you readily recognize brace your arms on either side.   
S: ‘Hey now, where are you in a rush to?’  
Refusing to give yourself the time to overthink your actions you immediately close the gap, wrapping your arms around the taller man’s torso and burying your face in his sweater clad chest. Reid gently returns the gesture, one of his hands finding your back and the other resting on the top of your head. He runs his fingers through your hair and kisses the crown of your head. You lift your face from his chest.

Y: ‘Welcome back, did you get any sleep on the plane?’  
He hums, thinking. You like the feeling of it against your body.   
S: ‘Some but nothing beats sleeping in your own bed right? Especially with a warm welcome like this to come back to.’  
He pulls you closer as he speaks. You look up to him, resting your chin on his sternum and lift yourself onto your toes, nearly pressing your lips to his chin. Spencer smiles, appreciating the initiative you’ve been showing more of as the two of you have become more comfortable with each other. You can see a tint of pink forming on his cheeks. He rewards you with a sweet and soft but short kiss. You want more, even a little bit more but your anxieties have stilled your movements. 

Y: ‘I thought you would already be inside and in bed before I got my sweats on.’  
S: ‘I heard you run to the door.’  
A smile lights up his face and he lets out a brief chuckle. He waited outside, hoping you’d come to meet him. 

S: ‘Would you like to come inside? I’m on call, as always, but I don’t have to go in otherwise.’  
You nod, reluctantly letting go of the doctor. Spencer takes your hand and pulls you into his apartment you’ve become remarkably familiar with, a home just feet away from home. Despite the sun rising his apartment is still mostly dark from black out curtains. You pull the door closed behind you, lock it and press your back against it, letting Spencer’s hand fall away from your own. He turns back to you, pulling off his messenger bag and cardigan, haphazardly tossing them in the direction of a chair. You know you want to talk but it’s so hard to start this kind of conversation, to push this sort of boundary. He looks you up and down, that lingering and hungry look you’ve noticed. You swallow hard and shove your hands into your deep sweatpants pockets. Reid takes note of the drastic change in your body language. He’s concerned but the nerves radiating off of you keep him from coming any closer. 

S: ‘What’s wrong?’  
Y: ‘I-I really appreciate you letting me set the pace with us...more than you could probably know but-’  
Your head rolls before gently landing back against Spencer’s door. Too much is swirling in your head to put it together. Your face feels hot with embarrassment. You take your hands out of your pockets, ball one and slide the other over it. Reid can’t quite tell where this is going yet, he eyes your hands. He nervously pushes his hair behind an ear.  
Y: ‘If you’re comfortable with it...I want more but I don’t know where to start or-or.’  
Spencer audibly sighs with relief and quickly closes the distance. You’re eager for the closeness. He reaches out, grasping your face as his body and lips crash onto you. One of his hands retreats lower to your back, pulling your chest to his. The kiss is shallow but full of emotion. You find an opening to bring your hand to the back of his neck through his barely tamed curls and pull him to you. Spencer takes the invitation and deepens the kiss with a quick breath and a tilt of his head before diving into you. You ball a fist in his hair, his hand drifts from your back to a solid grip on your hip. His lips are soft but the kiss is incredibly needy, his hunger pulls a moan from deep in your throat. He gasps and pulls away from the kiss and you try to catch your breath. He’s a little bent out of shape as well, his eyes are locked on yours and you see his Adam’s apple jump.

S: ‘Sorry I-I wasn’t expecting that.’  
You crane your neck trying to reach his ear and lower your voice nearly to a whisper. He leans in, looming over you.  
Y: ‘You have no idea what you do to me Doctor Spencer Reid.’  
Your face is hot but you feel a need to let him know. With that he puts his hand against the door behind you, caging you in on one side. The look in his eyes has calmed.  
S: ‘I could easily say the same to you Doctor’  
Your eyebrows raise, you can’t say you’re entirely surprised but it’s different hearing it said aloud. He runs his free fingertips slowly up and down your arm. You let your head fall forward onto his chest as our skin breaks out in goosebumps under your hoodie.   
S: ‘What do you say to establishing a system to check in on each other in situations like these, something simple like...stop lights.’  
Y: ‘Like stop lights?’   
S: ‘Yeah, um-green is ‘fine keep going’, yellow is something like ‘slow down’ or ‘I need a minute’ or ‘we need to talk’, and red is full stop no questions asked no matter the circumstances.’  
You nod into his chest, noticing his deep breathing.   
Y: ‘I’m just-worried about your expectations...I don’t know what you think I have-’  
You’re interrupted by Spencer placing feather light kisses along your jaw line starting from just below your ear. You take a sharp breath in response, his free hand cups the other side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.  
S: ‘I don’t have any expectations. I’ve done my research of course but I have no preference.’  
You laugh, relieved and take hold of Spencer’s shirt, pulling him into a kiss you have control of. He readily lets you in, neither of you hesitating this time. You lightly bite his lip as he pulls away from you, eliciting a low groan from Spencer. He grips your hip and takes a fist full of your hair in hand. You eagerly expose your neck to him but he starts off sheepish, slowly kissing lightly from your jawline to the start of your neck, making eye contact, questioning.   
Y: ‘Green.’  
You breath out. He closes his eyes and plants the first of many wet kisses to your neck, sucking and biting at the tender skin meticulously marking before moving lower to another spot. Your back arches into Spencer, your hands quickly moving to his back for stability. With each new mark your moans grow louder, only spurring him on as a deep aching need settles in your core. You bite your lip and reach for Reid’s already loosened tie, you tug at it and feel him smile against your neck.  
S: ‘Green’  
His voice is lower now, he sounds just as out of breath as you. You quickly slip the tie from it’s knot to the floor. You pull at the collar of his shirt. He nods against you, face buried into your neck. You hear him swallow as you unbutton his shirt slowly. His hands wander down to your hips, tracing the line where your hoodie and sweats meet. He tucks his fingers under the hoodie and then your undershirt and stops. You start a nod, pause but continue the gesture. Spencer remains still, a serious look on his face. He presses his forehead to yours.

S: ‘I need you to say it.’  
A new wave of heat reaches your face at the command. You smile and nod with more confidence pulling Spencer’s shirt off letting it fall onto the floor.   
Y: ‘Green.’  
You raise your arms letting Spencer take off your hoodie and shirt in one smooth motion. You two take a moment to just look at each other, out of breath already a little hot and bothered, you’re all but undone with Spencer’s touch but you can’t give in yet. Reid’s eyes explore the newly exposed flesh, new hunger and curiosity in his eyes but, even so, when he makes eye contact the look is soft and caring. Even in the face of unprecedented exposure he makes you feel safe and desired. He clearly lingers on the marks he’s left on your neck. 

Y: ‘You can touch me, I’d-I’d like it actually’  
He reaches out and touches the handiwork he’s left. You gasp and his hand moves further down, tracing your pulse down your neck. He traces a line down the center of your chest, his hand drops back to his side. He bites his lip.  
S: ‘Could we-take this to the bedroom? I’m not expecting any-’  
You grab his hand, eagerly pulling him into his own bedroom. You spin around facing Spencer and drop onto his bed propping yourself up on your elbows. You look him up and down, noticing now the clear strain in the fabric of his pants even in the dark room. His hesitation makes you nervous.  
Y: ‘Spencer, I need you.’  
Something seems to snap in him, tension visibly leaves his body. He is almost instantly on top of you, supporting himself with one hand while the other makes its way up your torso. The contrast of his warm hand against your exposed skin sets your nerves ablaze. He peppers your collar bones with hasty kisses as his thumb traces the scars along your chest. Before any worry could set in Spencer’s mouth ends up along your scars. You let out a whimper, his attention is brought back to your face. You tentatively grab at his hips, finding his belt and tugging on the front of it. He leans back and nods. You quickly do away with the belt, before you could do any more Reid leans down into you for another kiss. Each time is a slightly different experience, this one is more patient and attentive. He lays a firm hand against your neck and a hard grip on your hip. You squirm under him but he keeps you grounded. He pulls away, you gasp for air and his eyes look into you with an intensity that could devour you whole. With his gaze fixed on you his hand moves down your thigh, to your knee and back up again on the inside of your leg. You moan and arch with his touch. His hand finally offers some friction where you’ve wanted it most, your hips buck into his hand as you shudder. He presses harder into you after a moment ripping a moan from your throat. Your reaction earns a groan from the doctor.   
Spencer’s fingers tuck under the band of your sweatpants as well as boxers, you lift your hips for him as he pulls them off. He takes a moment to look but doesn’t linger.  
Y: ‘Don’t stop.’  
You plead. Your growing need is taking you over. As much as you’d love to tease Spencer Reid all you want in this moment is for him to take care of you. Spencer’s hand once again runs up the inside of your thigh and up the seam of your body. Your wetness surprises you yet elicits a low moan from Reid. His wet fingers slip over your bottom growth, your legs jolt closed around Spencer’s hips. You take a shaky breath, his hands retreat back to your inner thighs pressing gently as you let them fall open again, his face lowers between them. Just as he starts lapping at your entrance and sucking on your bottom growth, your need turns to impatience. You grab his hair and pull him from you. He moans for you. When he opens his eyes he immediately makes eye contact, his expression needy. 

Y: ‘F-Spencer, just...take me.’  
You groan out, breathy and undone just having to say it out loud. He sits back and takes his pants and boxers off shaking his head slightly but never taking his eyes off of yours.   
S: ‘No...no no no…’  
He trails off, looming over you once more, his face so close you can feel his breath. Your back arches into his chest and he runs a hand down your side painfully slowly.   
S: ‘I’m not going to take you…’  
Spencer rubs himself against your entrance despite his words. Your heart is racing.  
S: ‘We’re doing this together.’  
He firmly braces your back and pulls you up to straddle his lap. He grips your hip with one hand and the side of your neck with the other. He looks you up and down.   
S: ‘May I kiss you?’  
Him relinquishing total control of the situation makes your heart swell. You nod and lean into him. As you kiss you reach down and line Spencer up with your entrance. You slowly slide down onto him, adjusting as you go.   
S: ‘ah...fuck…’  
He moans into your ear, you tighten around him hearing his voice, the foreign vulgarity and hearing what you do to him.   
S: ‘You like it when I talk to you?’  
His fingertips dig into your hip, hopefully leaving marks. You lightly grip his neck which he readily bares for you. You nod but you know your body has already given him his answer. You earn a satisfied moan from Spencer as you completely bottom out with him. You start grinding on him, feeling his tension collect in his thighs and neck. You slowly lift nearly off of him, leaving only his tip inside before dropping back down to the base. Each impact pulls a moan from your throat. As you relax into a rhythm you let Reid’s body fall away from you, he supports himself on one arm while keeping the other hand firmly planted on your hip. With your hands on his chest you watch his eyes, transfixed on where your bodies meet while his breathing picks up. He looks back up to you with a question in his eyes. You make your strokes more shallow and brace your arms on his shoulders and nod. Spencer thrusts up into you experimentally.   
Y: ‘M-more.’  
You manage to moan out, he nods, bites his lip and sets a ruthless pace. You meet his thrusts and dig your fingertips into his shoulders encouraging him along. You can’t last long at this rate, you can feel a coil tightening inching closer and closer to springing.  
Y: ‘Spencer I-I’m close.’  
He nods, focused on getting both of you to the end. He keeps his thrusts consistent but reaches for your face and pulls you into a deep kiss. This show of affection pulls you over the edge, cumming with Spencer still keeping his steady pace. He keeps you in the kiss, stifling your voice as you cum for him. Your own orgasm cascades into Spencers, he holds you tight against him as he shudders against you. You return the gesture, burying your face in his neck.   
As you come down a deep panic settles in place, your breathing quickly changes as your grip on the doctor tightens. He cradles the back of your head and gently strokes long lines down your back.   
S: ‘Hey...what's going on? What do you need?’  
His voice helps bring you back to reality.   
Y: ‘I just need you to stay with me...if that’s alright.’  
S: ‘Of course, I never planned on leaving you.’  
The two of you hold each other for a while, you lost track of the time long ago. As your panic leaves exhaustion sets in, you nearly fall asleep sitting up against Spencer. Once you realize you tap him to let him know you’re ready to move. He hums against you.  
S: ‘What is it?’  
Y: ‘We should sleep…’  
S: ‘But?’  
Y: ‘I want my boxers…’  
Spencer laughs and nods.  
S: ‘Alright alright.’  
He pulls away from you slowly, clearly not ready to let go either but just as tired.   
S: ‘Would a pair of mine suffice? They’ll be easier to find in the drawer than yours on the floor.’  
Y: ‘Sure, I’d like that.’  
Spencer shoots you a sly look. You dig at the sheets on his bed feeling a new chill and a small need to hide yourself. He quickly returns to you handing you the boxers and jumping into a pair of his own. You slip them on and he pulls his sheets up entirely to let both of you under them. He lies on his side facing you and holds his arms out to you.   
S: ‘Come here, I want you close.’  
You gladly obliged, scooting in close as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you even closer. You bury your face into his chest and he kisses the top of your head. Spencer hums, satisfied with your closeness and you fall into a deep dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a sex scene. I hope it's alright, I have a lot of personal issues with the topic so writing something like this helps me out.


End file.
